Thinking you might need to go on a diet? Think again. No one needs to go on a diet.

Yeah you read that right, but once more for the cheap seats: No one needs to go on a diet.

What, not even massivley obese people?

Yeah, not even them.

So how do you stay healthy and avoid being overweight then?

Well, this may come as a surprise but you can eat and enjoy food and do whatever you want in terms of exercise. But heres the caveat. You have to actually do some exercise and you need to make your food – packet opening doesn’t count.

If you’re overweight or suffering from some kind of condition which is probably food related; rather than going on a diet you just need to improve your diet.

I’m Flabby, Fat And Unfit – Of Course I Need To Diet

Yeah. No.

If you eat food which has all the nutrients you need and isn’t packed full of additional sugar and salt then you don’t need to diet. All diets are essentially a waste of time

Eating biscuits, crisps, cakes, doughnuts, ready meals, fast food, salty snacks, ‘diet’ food products, ‘low fat’ food products, anything AT ALL with a slogan or an aggressive marketing campaign and pretty much everything in the soft drinks aisle at the supermarket – well, it’s unnessecary.

What you need to eat is real food. By real food I mean food that is a composite of fresh ingredients you have bought and cooked and that contain a bare minimum of pre packaged ingredients.

If your preparation for an evening meal involves opening an assortment of packets and waiting for the ‘ping’ of a microwave or whacking something in an oven for 20 mins – well. You are doing yourself a disservice.

Yeah I Can’t Cook Though

If you are a bit calamitous in the kitchen or you’re bad at coming up with ideas for dinner, don’t worry, we all have off days.

Cooking isn’t difficult. In fact there are things which will make cooking a breeze as they’re so easy to do.

Easyyyyy… pic: RitaE

Pasta is your friend. Steak takes 3-5 minutes to cook perfectly. A homemade veg (or meat) curry can be knocked up in less than 20-30 minutes, no jars required.

In fact we all have the worlds biggest receipe book available to us 24/7. Yup. Your smartphone.

And even if you’re lacking ideas about what to eat there are websites for that too.

Eventually with a little effort and practice you’ll be knocking out gourmet dishes in the same time it takes you to oven a low grade pizza.

Well… I’ve Been On A No Carb/Vegan/Paleo Diet And…

Stop wasting your time. Seriously.

  • No carbs? We need carbs to operate – it’s one of the 5 basic elements of our nutrition and by cutting out you’re not doing your body any favours. Yup.

In fact the demonisation of carbs is one of the great diet myths of our age, instigated by the Atkins diet and perpetuated by pretty much every one since. Less sugar is always good, but carbs are needed for energy. Don’t cut out carbs.

  • Vegan? It’s all the rage right now and sure, why not, if you do it right it is a good way to live a ‘clean’ lifestyle. You can get your protein from pulses and green vegetables but really it’s unnessecary.

The problem with meat and dairy production is twofold. The poor treatment of livestock and the amount of chemicals used in the production and treatment. Cutting out meat and dairy is no bad thing but you need to work very hard at not having a bad diet on top of this.

  • The paleo diet is a noble idea: eating food that is the kinda stuff our ancestors would have eaten pre-farming. All it really does is cut out the processed food.

Apart from eating a good balanced diet without cutting out essential food groups like carbohydrates the other thing you need is exercise.

Exercise? Booooo…


You don’t need to go to the gym, in fact I wrote a whole piece about skipping the gym altogether.

OMG This is like soooo fun – pic: ClaudioScott

Rather, if you have a sedentary job or lifestyle, just make sure you get out and do some exercise as often as possible. Preferably daily.

Running, yoga, swimming, brisk walking, cycling… Anything that doesn’t involve sitting on yo’ butt. So long as you break a sweat occasionally and have fun doing it, that’s all that matters.

In Short

Diets are bad and a waste of time. You don’t need loads of processed sugar and fat so cut them out, but otherwise eat good quality food and avoid packets. Do some exercise.

That is it.

But How Am I Gonna Get My Bikini Body In Time For Marbs

Be confident and wear what the hell you want. Seriously, if you’ve got a body then you’re good to go.

If being gym honed is what your life is all about then go for it, but if you’re like the rest of humanity and can’t really be arsed…

You know. Just don’t eat rubbish food and do some exercise occasionally.

You’re welcome.

So what do you think? Are diets a waste of time and generally a bad idea; or do you think dieting is the best thing ever and you love not eating whatever you want? Comment below, share on social. Etc etc etc.


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